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13 September 2020 @ 06:16 pm

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80% real life 10% fandom 5% useless shit
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{2013.07.24 currently not adding new friends}

14 June 2015 @ 02:57 pm
Despite all the offensive things he says and does, Tegoshi Yuya is still my idol. What kind of admiration is this, what kind of feelings do I have for him? And how, looking at all the bullshit he does, can I still be a fan of him? Why am I so offended to begin with?

Sometimes I get asked, "What is so bad about Tegoshi, and why do you hate on him?". I get this question so often that sometimes I just simply answer with "everything". For future references, I might just as well link people to this entry. I don't feel like explaining myself again and again.

I'm well aware of the fact that I am investing quite a bit of time to write this entry to explain why I am angry at Tegoshi so often. However, I don't want this entry to be filled with hatred and aggitation against Tegoshi - he sure does have good sides as well, because due to them I really admire him. However, this does not make me ignorant towards the little (and sometimes big) things he does that I can not agree with. And this, everything about this is my own opinion. I have a right to state it, and I have a right to explain it.

Maybe I should put a little bit of trivia about me being a fan of NEWS; and how I fell into the depths of being a Tegoshi fan.

cut to preserve the butthurtCollapse )
13 June 2015 @ 10:15 pm
The content of this entry has been resting in my soul way too long. It probably should just be posted now.

The following paragraphs will mostly center on the wonderful J-pop fandom, which in general is an amazing thing: many fansubs, many communities (even though by now they're all pretty dead) and with the migration to twitter many ways of following international fans easily. As nice as J-pop can be; it also can be pretty ugly.

I was talking to a friend about a certain topic that included fans leaving their fandom, as in "graduating". While I do quite like the idea of "graduating", I do not fully support the fact of "leaving" forever: to put simply, I don't understand how you "stop" to be a fan.

Many people kind of leave their (J-Pop) fandom and start to become interested in other things; which not necessarily are in the same category of what they've been a fan of before. This is not even a wrong thing to do! There are so many beautiful things out there, so many things that deserve to be loved!

However, as soon as someone just decides that there is something else he's interested in, it's pretty much a game of life and death within fandom; it's the battle royale, literally. You do not know who to trust anymore; and you do not know who is going to be the next person to stab into your back.

"You know, I also like group XY - they're really talented and quite cool"
It's not easy. I, personally, am a first-hand NEWS and KAT-TUN fan. Ever since I entered those two fandoms, I can remember quite a few fanwars; you either like A or B. There is no inbetween; let alone there could be a "both" of it. Nope, you had to choose to have an easy life and because I figured KAT-TUN fans were even worse, I decided for NEWS. JK.

While there are quite a few all-round fans, who in fact like more than only one group (and if they're really cool are also a fan of Western stuff), there are also those who absolutely and only concentrate on one group. For them, liking more than one group is "not loyal" and literal "betrayal".

I have been told I can't be a "true" fan (of j-pop) because I also like j-rock - I should choose, or I'm not good for the group. What? Where does this come from? And who makes the rules?

Fandom sure feels like there's some secret code everyone has to follow. If you don't follow it, you're quick to be put on the list of "betraying fan". Apparently there is such a thing as a fandom codec, I have just never encountered a file of it. Someone?

"You are not a true fan", "xy deserve/s better fans than you", "you're a traitor"
Once you come out of the closet about your true feelings and about the fact you also like other things that are not necessarily Japanese or have to do with Japanese Entertainment industry, it's hard. People will judge you based on what you like ("what - you're a NEWS fan but you also like Marilyn Manson? traitor!"), people will tell you to leave because you're not faithful to one group alone. (and when you leave, they'll just pretend you never was a fan and that they saw it coming you'd leave, eventually. life in fandom sucks, either way. bleh.)

Some fans might call you a slut for not agreeing on everything they say; which most likely also includes the situation of you not liking everything your favorite group produces and does. "Slut" usually automatically follows after or is followed by being called a "hater".

But what makes you really a "good" fan? Does anyone really have the right to judge how much of a fan you are, by the extend you invest your time into one topic? Are you only allowed to like one thing, and if you don't really feel it anymore you're "betraying" it?

In my opinion, you don't ever really stop being a "fan". I think that if you spent a lot of time on something that in that moment feels very right to you, you can not just erase the memory of that "feeling". Years later, you stumble upon something and remember all the memories you have made with people, and then you go "Oh wow, man, I have missed this so much". Which to my conclusion is, you still are a fan.

Personally I have so many groups, bands and actors or idols that I am proud to be a fan of. I have collected many memories off- and online, with people from all over the world. I have so many feelings inside of me, and I can not just simply ignore them.

"You never talked about it, so you can't be a fan!"
For example, I used to be a huge Sailor Moon fan when I was little (who wasn't!?) - but even now, 23 years of life, I can't stop liking it. I am still a fan. If anything happened with the time passing by, it's that somehow you stop caring as much as you did before. I was very invested, and even now I get excited when I see Sailor Moon bandaids at the store. "I need them!", I think and my instinctive fan-collecting emotions come up again. I can simply not just stop liking it.

Hence, in the period of my life I have come upon quite a lot of fandoms. I have made great friends and I pretty much lost contact to all of them again. I had many Dir en grey friends, mostly from Germany and Austria. At some point we lost contact, they stopped posting about Dir or left the internet. But this does not mean they stopped being a fan - they just chose other priorities. And this is perfectly alright. Even if they don't care about the band anymore, who the fuck am I to give a shit about it?

And then again, people say "if you're not active and invested in something very intensly you're not really a fan" - this to me sounds as if saying, "if you never talk about it, you don't like it". Which I personally feel is... very not smart. Why? Because it is my decision what I tweet/write/blog/tumblr about. I can be a fan without others having to know it!

I used to be a hardcore Gravitation (shounen-ai; anime/manga) fan. I didn't have but one friend (who is my cousin) who shares my obsession. People online would never know I'm a really obsessed fan. Does this make me no fan? I don't believe so.

tl;dr do you like it? good - you're a fan. you don't like it? also good - you're a fan of something else. oh, you like both? good!

What, in your opinion makes you a fan?